Manic-depression goes to college, too: What I wish someone had told me before I left for college
by Marisa

I have had a severe form of manic-depression since I was five years old. My illness has caused many relationships to deteriorate. I’ve been asked if I do illicit drugs, I’ve gone on wild shopping sprees and I’ve had weeks without sleep. I’ve spent months in the hospital and have been on trials of over seventeen different medications in more than twenty combinations. Finally, after a particularly frightening manic-depressive and psychotic episode, I tapered off all of my current meds and began a new regimen of lithium carbonate and an antipsychotic. I’ve also just completed my first year of college.

There’s no denying this was a difficult year. The attacks of September 11th and the loss of a close friend to cancer were devastating, and the every day challenges of college life were certainly tough. However, I can proudly say that I made it through my freshman year and that I’m beginning to decide what path I want to take in life.

When I left for college, I had many fears. What would happen if I had an episode? How would I get help? Would I succeed academically? I vowed that once I acclimated myself, I would share what I had learned with others. Following is a list of what I think all bipolar college students should know.

Living on-campus

The housing policy is different at every college and quite often students are only allowed single rooms for medical reasons. While some doctors will say that a bipolar student should have a roommate to prevent isolation or to recognize warning signs during an episode, it may be easier to maintain a regular sleeping schedule if you have a room to yourself. Although I lived in a single for my freshman year, I’ve met the perfect roommate who I plan to live with next year.
Testing

Not all but many manic-depressives have co-morbid anxiety disorders and exhibit ADD symptoms. This can pose a huge problem in the classroom, and more so on exam day. For many students it is beneficial to have documentation verifying that you have special needs. With this documentation, you may be allowed a private room or extra time on exams to mitigate anxiety and distraction.

Adjusting to a new schedule

When I registered for my first semester, I was appropriately warned that I was getting myself in too deep. Since then, I’ve learned that it’s important to choose your course load realistically. Juggling classes and work while getting used to being on your own can be overwhelming. And, as one manic-depressive to another, overloading on courses could be our manic side of the brain registering.

To provide order in a life that can be very disorganized, I live by schedules and lists. By writing down all of my assignments and errands, I can keep tabs on upcoming projects and make sure I meet all of my deadlines.

Finding therapeutic ways to deal

Manic-depressives can go to great extremes to release frustration. It is therefore not surprising that so many bipolar adolescents cut themselves, have eating disorders or abuse alcohol and drugs. With time, I’ve learned that there are more productive ways to handle stress. Train yourself to slow down. Identify therapeutic activities that you can turn to when you feel like you might hurt yourself.

To tell or not to tell?

Deciding who and when to tell is tricky. The stigma about mental illness is very real, but you have to take care of yourself. I have kept it relatively simple. Without using specifics, I’ve told the people I work closely with that I take medications that have certain side effects.

Sometimes, friends do not understand mental illness. They may even shy away or change the topic. This is probably because they don’t know how to react, not because they don’t want to be there for you. The best thing you can do is let them know you are willing to answer their questions and try to understand if they can’t be there for you in the way you want them to be.

Final words

I remind myself all the time that it’s not my fault that I’m bipolar and it’s not my fault if I have a relapse, but it is my fault if I don’t do everything in my power to prevent a relapse. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and excessive sugar. Maintain a regular sleep schedule, exercise, enjoy the company of newly made friends, find a hobby, take your medication, and don’t lose contact with your doctors.

Editor’s note: Due to the author’s young age, and at her request, we identify her by first name only.