“Boys don’t show cry” isn’t a phrase that Kotaro, midfielder in the Hong Kong Premier League, believes in. Kotaro has experienced the stigma surrounding mental health, which is especially strong for men and athletes. Men account for 80% of suicide , yet only 40% of men who live with mental illness seek treatment. Stigma, cultural expectations, and silence shape the mental health crisis among men. Kotaro found that the silence surrounding mental health was unbearable, so he made the courageous decision to speak up.

At first, Kotaro did not seek help for his mental health as an athlete. “I thought if I could just perform well on the field, the rest would fall into place. I learned it’s actually the opposite—when your mind isn’t well, nothing else works the way it should.” As an athlete, he felt intense pressure to be tough and to bottle up his feelings. “We talk about being strong, fast, and tough, but none of that matters if you’re not mentally okay. I learned that the hard way.” He realized seeking support actually made him a better athlete.

Throughout his athletic career, Kotaro found joy as a motivational speaker. He had shared his journey of becoming a professional soccer player at churches, schools, and nonprofit organizations. When he started sharing his mental health story, he found it had a different effect. “People didn’t expect a man, let alone an athlete, to talk about something so vulnerable,” he said. “But that’s exactly why I needed to.” Kotaro, who once attempted suicide, found that speaking about the darkest parts of his journey helped him heal and offered hope to others who were also struggling.

Seeing how much his mental health story resonated, he wanted to find more ways to share it. He started sharing his mental health story with NAMI-NYC through their Ending the Silence program. Ending the Silence teaches students, parents, and teachers how to recognize the warning signs of mental health conditions and respond with support and compassion. Since Kotaro joined NAMI-NYC’s education efforts, he has spoken at several events, including a recent presentation at a predominantly Asian high school. As someone with a Japanese background, Kotaro’s presence had a powerful impact on the students. “I wasn’t just a random guy on stage. I was someone they could see themselves in.” Students lined up to talk with him, after the presentation, asking for selfies, autographs, and advice. They had found a role model who understood the challenges they faced and wasn’t afraid to talk about them. 

Kotaro has found that sharing his story helped others feel like they could talk about their mental health without shame. He helped others shift their perspective on what it means to be a strong man. By being open about mental health, he shows that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.